The Mack Wonder Experiment

I saw this video a clip a little while back, but I had no idea what the kid was yelling about because it was in some foreign language. It really didn't matter what he was saying because it was just so fucking hilarious. I just came upon a version of this clip with subtitles and it is still a classical clip. Whoever said violant video games were bad for kids.

Somone get this kid a Ritalin, ASAP!

The 40 Year Old Virgin is an intriguing social commentery wrapped in a "dick and fart joke" comedy, written and directed by Judd Apatow. Some of Judd's prior directorial work can be seen in the TV series Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, and The Larry Sanders Show. In addition he has written, directed, and acted in several other well known movies and TV series.

The very first time I saw this movie in the theatre I about shit my pants with lauphter. So as soon as it became available on DVD, we snatched it right up and have watched it at least 10 times. It is a definate must add to any comedic library, one that will surely bring lauphter for many years to come.

The first person I thought of when I first watched this was of course Ball. Even though he technically is not a virgin any longer, Andy suits him to a tee. From the collecting of action fitures, to the many awkward attempts to get laid in the past.

The other cast of characters are probobly a mixture of the rest of us, with no true definable characters. However they are quite instrumental in teaching Andy what is really important through there male shovanistic, don't put the pussy on a pedastal mentality. Those attiduds just send you down the road of being a 40 year old loner with noone to love.

In seeing Andy's undying love for his soul-mate, in turn sAndy shows the others guys that they really do not want to go down the road of chasing ass till they are 80. They all may have different roads to travel, but as long as the trip is with someone that you truly love and truly identify with, then that is all that matters.

Finally at long last I have finished part 1 of my transcript from My Eevening (and morning) with Kevin Smith. I can't promise you that there will be a part 2, mainly because I am quite lazy and very unmotivated. In addition my retelling of the stories and events from the night will definately not live up to the actual event. So please don't expect much.

Without further discraction I bring you the main event...


This has been an exciting few months for me, first seeing Seinfeld live, and now seeing Kevin Smith live. Prior to these two experiences if you were to ask me who the two people I would most like to see in person, it would definitely be a toss up between Kevin Smith, Seinfeld, and the Counting Crows. Seeing that I have already seen the Counting Crows twice prior, and had never seen Jerry or Kevin, I suppose those would be my top two answers.

I am not exactly sure where to start with my evening with Kevin Smith, so I will just start from the beginning, recalling as much information as I possibly can. Due to the great quantity of information that was given I will likely recall many events later on that are out of place, and so this will likely end up as nonsense.

Kevin was scheduled to start speaking at 8pm, and at eight sharp he was briefly announced and then walked on to the stage sporting his trademark green overcoat/trench coat that has guest starred with Silent Bob in several movies. A quick side note to this, which was discussed later on in the evening, is that this coat was purchased in a thrift type store for a mere $10 way back in the day, and has stayed with him ever since. He mentioned that for every movie that is made, wardrobe likes to have 3 copies of each garment that is to be worn by all the actors in case there is a need for a replacement. Since this type of trench coat in green color is no longer produced, wardrobe had a bitch of time reproducing 2 more copies. Eventually the materials were rounded up and the grand total for reproduction for each copy was several hundred or thousand dollars. (I don’t remember which Thousands seems kind of high, but for some reason I think that might be it)

So Kevin walked onto the stage to a roaring applause that lasted just a few minutes, and was followed with a comment by Kevin mentioning that there were still some empty seats in house. Kevin proceeded to ramble on with his monologue for the next 30 minutes or so. He first discussed that this was his third time in Indianapolis and then went into some detail concerning his prior ventures to the area. His second time in the area was during the time of the Indianapolis 500, which was not the reason he was in town, and he was bitching about how he could not find a hotel room because they were all booked up. Eventually he found a motel room, which unfortunately neither had premier movie channels or porn channels. Being that he was married he said that these are the only time he can get some quality masturbation in. This story then segwayed into some discussion about the progression of the porn and just how far it has come, no pun intended. The internet is a beautiful place and you can find just about any porn you want, up to and including "3 guys jizzing all over some chick" as Kevin put it. But the topper of them all for him was brought to his attention by Mewes who one day came in to show him some new shit that he was really digging. Brazilian Fart Porn. Women farting in each others faces and then inhaling deeply. That’s it, no sex, just farting. He couldn’t imagine how anyone could find this erotic, then realized who brought this to his attention, case solved.

So after talking about jizz and Brazilian fart porn he then brought to our attention that he had received a letter in his dressing room from a most unlikely person, his fourth grade teacher. She was in the audience and wanted to meet him for breakfast in the morning. He said he couldn’t because he had a 6am flight. He then proceeded to embarrass her by asking where she was sitting followed by some “how have you been?” and “Why Indianapolis type questions?” He was surprised that she was still in the audience after the discussion thus far and encouraged her to hang around a bit more. She did, at least for a little bit.

Kevin told a story about how when he was in fourth grade, for a brief moment he wanted to be a teacher all because of this lady, but not for the reasons you might think. You see they had a goody shelf in the room that contained random foods that the students would get sporadically for misc. reasons. Well during test times or knap times or such, he would always here a crinkling noise in the back of the room and notice that she was in the back eating goodies. Little Kevin thought that it would be so cool to be a teacher so that he could eat from the goody shelf as much and whenever he wanted. This makes a lot of sense now.

At this point I believe Kevin got to the point where he discussed how the rest of the evening was going to go. He said that we could ask any questions we wanted, and that we could keep going as long as we wanted. The shortest he had ever done was 4 hours and the longest was 7 hours (in Redbank NJ) He said that he didn’t want to beat this record, seeing that it was his home town. This record was disputed later on by an audience member who said that the record was actually 8 hours, and that he had been at a show that went 7 ½ hours. This never was resolved.

I think that at this point in my retelling of the night that I should change the format, and instead of going chronologically that I should just list questions/stories as I remember them. There were so many questions asked that there is no way I can remember there order.

Jen and Kevin’s Second Date.
Anyone who has seen “An Evening with Kevin Smith” knows the story about how Kevin and Jen hooked up on what Kevin calls there first date. After this “date” They began to talk a lot and form the beginnings of what now is a loving relationship. Due to Kevin’s busy schedule and Jen’s schedule working for USA Today, they never really saw each other for quite a while after this first encounter. The next official “date” would occur during the filming of Dogma (I think) in Kevin’s trailer on the set. The only detail that really matters in this date is that Jen gave up her ass too Kevin that night. Yes, they had anal sex on the second date. Kevin said that it was all her idea and that she initiated every activity associated with the bung hole.

To sum up Kevin and Jen’s dating experience thus far would seem as though one were describing a porno movie. Bloody open sore sex and anal sex. What more could a guy ask for?

After telling this story Kevin realized that he probably shouldn’t have due to the trouble he got into after Jen learned that he had told the story about their first date on tape. There was no way he could hide that story.

Break-up Sex
We all know about make-up sex. This is sex that occurs after a big fight with your S.O., and is some of the best sex you will ever have. The less known cousin to make-up sex is break-up sex. This sex that allows you to get all your frustration out just one last time, and gives you one last chance to say goodbye.

During the filming of Dogma Kevin was on the east coast and Jen was living on the west coast. Jen was going to move to NYC to live with a friend of hers so that she could see Kevin a little more often. It was only a 45 minute commute from NYC to where Kevin was, so it wouldn’t be so bad. Kevin had the bright idea that instead of living with her friend she could just move it with him in New Jersey. This sounded like a great idea, and so she did (I think).

Kevin was all consumed with his movie at this time because it was his baby and he wanted it to be the best that he could possibly create. This caused a little bit of tension in the relationship because Kevin couldn’t really spend that much time with Jen. Jen said that the order of importance to him at the time was the movie and then Jen. Well this definitely did not go over well with Jen and caused a huge fight leading to a break-up and the inevitable break-up sex.

It turns out that this break-up only lasted briefly, and soon enough Jen and Kevin were once again a couple. It’s a good thing too, because a short time later Jen broke the news to Kevin that she was pregnant. So yes, Kevin’s child was conceived during break-up sex. How many people can say that they were conceived like that? (Probably more people than you or I think)

Fruit Basket
So Kevin was working on one of his movies (Dogma I think, again) that featured Ben Affleck. Kevin was sitting in his editing room working on this movie, in his short director’s chair, (apposed to the tall one, which Kevin says he really doesn’t like) when all of a sudden he felt something keep touching his neck. So Kevin turns around and sees that Ben has graciously placed his nuts on his neck. This happened not once, but twice, mind you. Ben called this act of gratitude a “fruit basket”.

A short time after this encounter with Ben, Kevin started to notice that there was a small lump on his neck. So he went to his doctor to have it checked out, and a biopsy was done. It turns out that it was nothing serious, just a lump caused from a build up of body waste. Draw your own conclusions.

Batman or Superman?
Batman. He’s much more mysterious and kick ass.

Lunch with Chevy Chase
Kevin somehow got hooked up to have lunch Chevy Chase, his hero, and soon regretted it. Kevin told him how much he enjoyed Fletch and how genius Chevy’s comedy was in the movie. Chevy did not disagree. Chevy then went on to make some reference of the movie to the waitress by asking her why she didn’t ask him for his phone number, and then he said it was 7. I am not quite sure what this is all about because it has been forever since I saw the movie, but hey, maybe you guys get it.

This experience taught Kevin that you should never ever meet your idol because you may find out that the person is actually a dick, which Chevy was. As has been said by a few other celebrities Kevin agrees that he is arrogant and full of him self.

Anal Fissure
This was the one question that I was going to ask first if I ended up asking any questions all. I really was curious to as how his anal fissure was healing. It turned out that with absolutely no prompting at all this story eventually discussed by Kevin. Most of this story is described on Kevin’s blog and so I will not tell the entire story again, just some of the details that he didn’t mention.

For instance, the first person he sought advice from when he first realized there was a problem with his ass was his gay brother. He figured that of all people, his brother would probably know what to do in this situation. His brother said that yes he has had issues such as these with his ass before and that some type of cream prescribed by a doctor would likely be the best remedy.

Actually, that may be all that he said that wasn’t mentioned in his blog. Perhaps I will remember more details later on.

Superman
There really isn’t much to this, just a quick update to the story about Superman that was discussed on the first set of “An Evening with Kevin Smith”. Somebody asked whatever happened with that director who supposed to make the new Superman. Apparently he at some point did end up seeing “An Evening with Kevin Smith” and the part where Kevin basically made him sound like a dumbass because he wanted giant spiders and other stupid props. Well it turned he took the whole situation in the exact opposite manner than one would think. He thought that Kevin was praising him and his ideas and basically loved the whole segment. Also I think a little while later a movie called “8 Legged Freaks” came out. How bizarre.

The # 37
This was a completely random number that was pulled out of his ass.

Kevin’s Personal Assistant
This is just a quick interesting fact. Kevin’s personal assistant is none other than his wife’s mom, and she lives with them. So does Mewes.

In regards to autographs, pictures, and handshakes
At several points through out the evening many people asked for all of these. The very person who asked for his autograph was told that he would do it, only if the audience promised not to ask for any more questions. Everyone begrudgingly agreed.

A few people asked if they could get a picture with him on stage, and some were allowed, others weren’t. Mainly the people he didn’t like he just said “no”. I probably could have asked under the pretext that no one from the upper deck had yet received a photo with him, but I was too lazy.

He will give anyone who wants a handshake, a handshake. Just ask. Remember this for the future if any of you are given the chance. Although you should opt to try and get on stage for a picture. How sweet would that be? If I weren’t so fucking lazy I probably would have a pic posted up with me and Kev for all of you to drool over.

Dogma 2
Although Kevin has alluded to perhaps doing a sequel to Dogma, it is never going to happen. It’s a good idea, but the first one had a personal purpose, and it was fulfilled. Besides the sequel would probably stir up some shit that pales in comparison to the first, and now that he has a family its not worth it.

Kevin has gone through this routine before of denying that he was going to make a sequel (e.g. Clerks), and also said that Jay and Silent Bob were done after “Strike Back”, and so hey you never know. We can keep our fingers crossed.

Passion of the Clerks?
All though this sounds funny, and is a good spoof name on “Passion of the Christ”, the sequel to Clerks is going to be named Clerks 2. Nothing complicated or catchy, just Clerks 2. He was never actually serious about calling it Passion of the Clerks; it was just funny at the time.

Almost meeting George Lucas
Kevin was out at a studio lot somewhere hanging out with someone having lunch. He saw George walk in with a guy that Kevin knew. Kevin waved to his friend, and his friend waved back. Kevin kind of gave an awkward wave to George who then awkwardly waved back. George then turned to the guy as if to ask “who the fuck is that?” and was given a response by the other guy. George then sort of had a weird “who the hell is that?” smirk on his face and quickly turned an walked away.

Reece Witherspoon
Apparently Kevin was supposed to do a re-write for a script either written by or starring Reece, and did. Apparently she hated it and Kevin was removed from the project. So now Kevin really has a strong distaste for Reece.

Holy Buddy Jesus!
This more has to do with an audience member, but it really is quite interesting. So these two guys come up to the microphone to talk to Kevin and one guy claims that he has a Buddy Jesus who has actually been baptized by the pope. Kevin about shit his pants after hearing this. Kevin asked if they had it with them, and they did. They held it up for all to admire.

The said that they were at a service being run by John Paul (I think in Vatican City) and that they snuck up into the front section where people were being blessed by groups at a time. They snuck into one of these groups and the pope did his thing, and so Buddy Jesus had been blessed.

to be continued...

 

 

This is just to inform all the wannabe's out there, that as of approximately 6 PM today, I have purchased my tickets to see Kevin Smith speak in Indianapolis.  I know, I know, I rule.  I have one extra ticket, and before anyone decides that they want to suck my cock for it I think I should inform you that Jennifer will be using that ticket.  Hmm...maybe I should'nt have said anything, then I may have received much cock sucking.  Eh, its alright.  On February 2 I will be bowing down to the great one, and perhaps making a huge fool of myself by asking the dumbest question of all time.  Allthough I am not sure if they will allow carne folk from the far far back of the autotorium to ask questions.  I was thinking about asking him about how his anal fissure is healing.  He posted about it on his blog, and so I must assume that it is open game.  I mean, geesh, he exposed that information to anyone who wants it.  Thats balls.  Most likely I will end up sitting in my seat with a giant wet spot on my pants and a gaping mouth drooling over his Smithness.  This is gonna be Schwiggity Schwiggity Schweeeeeeeeeeeet!

Before I spoke about how I was going to go to that white elephant/ dirty Santa party in Indy.  Well I did, and a good time was had by all.  I was glad to see that one of my friends, a fellow Seinfeld freak, and one who can appreciate a good movie ended up with my gift of Reservoir Dogs.  Even his girlfriend admits that it is a damn good movie, and so I know that my movie will get its proper use and perhaps inspire them to pass it on.

When all was said and done after multiple exchanges and steals we ended up with a few pretty good items. The first of those was an assortment of truffles which made me almost wet myself after I had one.  The next gift was probably the best gift of all, a Christmas sheep which shits out jelly beans when you push down on him.  Can someone say schweeeeeeet!  Too bad Jennifer ate all the jelly beans already.  I guess I am going to have to stop by the store and get some more for my own entertainment.

Probably the most noteworthy gift which caused quite a few chuckles and jokes throughout the remainder of the drunken night was a book on removing stains, "Stains: A Spotter's Guide, purchased by probably the most tame guests of the party, who also brought along there 11 month y.o. baby.  Anyway at first the book does not seem to be all the entertaining and sort of seems like a true white elephant gift.  Not until you start reading some of stains, and how to remove them, do you realize how truly entertaining this book is.  The two most entertaining which are listed in the section of bodily fluids are probably the most entertaining.

 SEMEN
General: The viscid, whitish fluid produced in the male reproductive organs, containing spermatozoa.

Description:  On average, a man ejaculates fourteen gallons of semen in his lifetime, and reproduces only 1.2 children, in the United States.  This amounts to quite a bit of semen that does not reach its destination, which in turn leads to quite a few stained sheets.

Season:  Semen knows no season - the human male is always ready to reproduce.  Risk of staining increases, however, around the fourteenth of February each yeah, as well as during the time "spring fever", which is epidemic, strikes.

Areas of Occurrence: Sheets, pants, underwear, and towels are common places to find this stain, but it is possible for semen to wind up on any piece of clothing after being swept up in the moment.  Semen has been discovered as far from the mark as the floor, a T-shirt, pajama bottom, dress, the pillowcase, even a curtain, following extreme carelessness.

Time of Occurrence: This stain may occur at any time, but early morning and late night are standard.  Stains are usually found in the morning, either because they’ve just been created, or because daylight exposes evidence from last night's activities.

Removal: 
1. Hold fabric stain-side down under cold running water to force water through fabric.
2. Soak and agitate the fabric in cold water until loosened.
3. If the stain remains, rub liquid laundry detergent into the stain and let stand several minutes.
4. Launder according to garment label.

I would copy this down for your own personal use Ball; because I am sure out of us all you will probably need this advice the most.  Although it did say pillowcases are sometimes victim to this fluid, and so Stevo may need this advice as well.

EXCREMENT (the removal section is the entertaining part here)

General: a waste matter discharged from the body, especially feces.

Description:  There’s no getting around the fact that most people turn up their noses at excrement.  Even though it comes from the body and is natural, it’s just not terribly pleasant stuff.  Many people are used to dodging doggie-do on the sidewalks, but that’s a sight that’s less and less common these days due to more stringent laws.  Before the enactment of the 1978 law that made it mandatory for dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets, approximately 40 million pounds of dog excrement were deposited on the streets of that city each year.

Season: Since both people and animals must empty their bowels regularly, even daily, excrement stains can occur any time of year.

Areas of Occurrence:  During an accident, a person can embarrassingly ruin his or her own undergarments, trousers, or bed linens.  When changing a baby or cleaning out the litter box those who neglect to roll up his or her sleeves beforehand may fall victim to this particularly nasty stain.  The same goes for cleaning up after Rover in the park.  In some instances, the act of cleaning up a pet’s or child’s excrement might result in stains on fronts of jackets or sweaters, but these hopefully will be rare.

Time of Occurrence:  Since adults do not soil themselves as a matter of course, this sort of stain knows no particular time.  Early morning or late night is the most common hours for incurring a stain while cleaning up after a pet or changing a baby, since grogginess may undermine vigilance during these times.

Removal:

1.      Use a dull knife or spoon to remove as much as possible. (Are you fucking kidding me?!)

2.      For fresh stains, soak and agitate the fabric thoroughly in cold water.  For dried stains, soak fabric in soapy  mixture of cold water and liquid enzyme detergent for 30 minutes or until the stain is loosened.  Rinse well.

3.      If the stain remains, rub liquid enzyme detergent into the stain and let stand several minutes.

4.      Launder according to garment label.

 So let me get this straight, after I shit myself I am not suppose to throw my undergarments away, I am instead  suppose to scrape the shit out of my drawers with a dull knife or spoon?  Just checking.  Now where's that section on removing shit stains from all of my silverware?

So always remember, when in doubt, us a dull knife or spoon. 

 

One love and lots and lots of dull knives and spoons.

 

Today I am off to a white-elephent/rotten santa christmas party in Indy.  Typically this involved buying something funny or stupid and hoping to stick it with someone other than you.  And in return you hope to get the best gift of all.  This concept was on the show "The Office" week, which I love.  That shows always seems to entertain me to no end.  I think by far my favorite show was the diversity day episode.  But I digress.

For my gift I have decide to go with something I think every person should who is a collecter, a movie collector.  I purchased Resavoir Dogs, the tenth anniversity edition.  I think the only reason a great majority of people say this movie is great and a classic, is due to the fact that people always say that it is a great movie and a classic.  I am not sure if most people actually I enjoy it.  Typically I am a fan of movies that are different and way outside the box (i.e. Clerks, Pulp Fiction, Amelie).  They remind me that there still is originality and new thought out there, and that not every movie has to be a cookie cutter Will Smith "blockbuster".  I hate movies that are the same as every other movie out there.  You know the only real reason they were created was to make a few dollars (or a few million) for the creator and his cronies.  I still believe that there are writers and directors out there who truly care about the art and just want to make something that conveys what they truly want to convey, and not something that will just put asses in seat.  This is what George Lucas believed back in the day when he first started out and made Stat Wars.  In order to get his first movie made he had to follow the way of the corporation, but once that was a huge success he was give much more freedom to do what he likes.  Even George admits that now he has turned into a monster of a corporation, like those that he once dispised.  But I must say, I can't really blame the guy. 

So I reccommend pulling out your copy of Resavoir Dogs and popping it in the DVD player, (if you don't have it, you should be ashamed of yourself) and take yourself into the realm of something truly different and truly original.  Quentin, you da man!

 

Peace and one love

 

 

I have never really been a big fan of punk, especialy 80's punk/rock.  Any music that reminds me of the 80's typically finds it self no longer playing in my vicinity.  However this is not the case with an album I recently aquired.  I have known that the Killers have been around for a few years , ever since their first radio play.  I sort of liked the vibe that it gave, and to be honest the first time I ever heard the song I truly thought it was some retro song from the 80's that I just had never heard before.  Eventually I learned that it was The Killerz.  Fast forward a year or so and finally decided to give it a try, and I must say that I thoroughly enjoy the album.  I now know what all the hype has been about since there radio debut.  So if you seeking some new music to listen too, and you do not already have this album I would highly recommend "purchasing" this album from your local "distributer.

"I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier"

Peace and one love

Good morning sunshine, it's a snowy outside and the Nissan sucks balls in the snow.  Anyhow its still nice to see a good snow once in a while.  We typically do not get that much snow throughout the season here, usually an inch or two here and an inch or two there.  But last night we got about 7 inches or so, enought to actually give you reason to shovel in the morning.  Compared to, say Buffalo, this is just a smattering or dusting of snow.  It would be nice to be in a place where you get yards and yards of snow, like we did when I was growing up. Those were the good old days of snow, where you could go out in the morning and be covered in snow up to you yoohoos.

Anyhow, I think that until I actually have something to do on a regular basis that I am actually going to try and keep up with this blog on a daily basis.  In a week or so I will be traveling to Dallas for a few weeks, and so my ramblings may be be quite spuratic. 

I am not really sure what to talk about today, since yesterday I purged my soul just a tid bit.  

So yesterday I downloaded this program Google Earth, wich is a mapping program of the earth that uses real satallite imaging.  I have been messing around with it quite a bit, looking up close at places that I know well.  You can get real fucking close, close enough to see cars and people.  Some places such as Pine Valley are not available close up, well probobly because nobody really cares.  These maps will showing restaurants, coffee shops, sporting venues, and a million other layers if you so wish.  You can also make the buildings in cities 3D and get right down on the street.  Im wetting my self just thinking about.  So if you are looking for something to mess around with for a bit then give http://earth.google.com a whirl.

Peace and one love

 

 

In not having a lot to do over the past several months, the empty void has given me a lot of time to think, rethink, and over think various aspects of my life, some of which should likely have been left alone. For now they shall be put back. At the current moment there are a few overwhelming issues with which I am dealing, some of which I have been agonizing with for months. In no particular order of merit they are:

1. No jobby job
2. Getting married
3. Spike

Having no job for the past several months has been quite an ordeal, that has taxed my emotional status to its limits, causing very low lows, if only for short periods of time. While in school I had all kinds of illusions of grandeur that just never materialized. It’s really hard to deal with not receiving what you feel you were owed, and then realizing that what you put in into something was less than what you were expecting; this resulting in complete failure that is truly your own fault. It is really hard to admit you are douche sometimes. And now I am paying the price for this oversight, paying a price with which I see no end to in the near future. If it were not for my ever pressing optimism about how things always work out I may have jumped under a bus by now, seriously. Every bout of depression, or feeling of failure that I have, usually ends within a day or so due to my minds inability to accept failure and feel sorry for it self. I really hate that you know. For once I would just like to lock my self in a room and be as depressed as hell for a few weeks, and get all the bad toxins out of my body and mind. It probably does a soul good to do this once in awhile, but I suppose I am not of that temperament. I am really not sure how this is all going to play out, and if I dwell upon it to long it tends to bring be down, but only for a short while. So on to a happy topic.

It really feels weird that I am getting married in about 8 months. I mean God damn! I am going to have a piece of legal documentation stating that I am legally married for all time. It seems like just yesterday that I was a free-swinging bachelor, with all types of different women on my mind, and none of which I was attached. That feeling that maybe tomorrow some girl will be mine and we will have some crazy times, and then it well end, and on to the next. This feeling was lost a long time ago, when I was still a teenager. It feels weird that I have been with the same person for about 1/3 of my life time. That feels like a really really long time, probably because it is. But 50 years from now 8 ½ years will be nothing, just a drop in the ocean.

So now on August 5, 2006 I will be joined in marriage for all eternity, and I must say I am more than a little excited about it. It is a bit of nervous anxiety mixed with schhhwigggity schweeet anticipation. And I am going to have 6 (hopefully) good friends standing by my side, all but one of which I will have beaten out by then in terms of taking the dive. Nailz will have me beaten by about a month and a half. After the ceremony I plan on having a bad ass time all day long, getting intoxicated on Sam Adams and good times, partying till I pass out. I am not sure I could think of a better time to be had than this event. I better stop before I wet myself.

Now on to the final topic, one which has frustrated and dumbfounded me in ways I cannot understand. Mr. Spike, where have you gone? Well, I know where you are physically; I was speaking more in terms of where have you gone mentally. I really do not care much if you read this; this is not really for you or for anyone else, but more for me. It helps me keep my head straight you see. I am fairly sure that you treat as you have treated every other aspect of reach out; by tucking away and ignoring it.

I have known Spike for about 10 years or so I think. Throughout those ten years a lot has happened in Spikes life, much of which has contributed to the way he acts from day to day. I do not wish to get into those past events, those who know, know, and those who don’t were never meant to know. Anyway, throughout these past ten years Spike has disappeared countless times and for countless reasons, most of which were to just get away. I can understand that precisely, because a lot of days through out the past several months, and even years, I have just wanted to disappear and leave everybody and everything behind, never to be heard from again. This I illustrated in a prior blog. This getting way, in theory, would allow me to hide from my demons and allow me a new beginning, a way to start over and make my life the way I think it should have always been. The price to pay for that is isolating every person you have ever known and forcing them to forget you, but you know what? They won’t. Those that were truly your friends and those who truly loved you will never forget you, and by disappearing you are leaving them with a lifetime burden of having a part of them voided forever.

No matter how bad you think things are going, or how bad you think life has treated, you can never forget those who truly care for you and want to see you succeed. They are the people that should be your motivation when times are bad, because without them you have nothing and you really would be all alone. Sometime we may wish we were all alone, but deep down we know that if that were reality, then jumping under that bus would actually be quite inviting.
So instead of hiding from those who want to help us, I feel that we should seek out help from them, no matter what it is we feel is causing the sky to fall. Nothing can be so bad, that even our truest friends and family would turn there back on us. If they would, then they did not care for us to begin with.

I am not really sure where all of this is going, and I do no much care because that is just the way I am. I speak what I feel no matter how convoluted it is, because I understand what I feel and that is all that truly matters.

Peace and one love

Blah blah blah blah blah...blah blah.  Go fuck yourself and have a nice day!